I am totally at my wits end. I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm obviously doing everything wrong, because I have failed as a mother.

This morning, I had a parent/teacher concerence for R. He's failing language arts because he doesn't take his time and do his work. He's failing math because he would much rather tear his paper to shreds than actually do the work. I made sure the teacher is keeping all sharp objects away from him though. So that's not a worry.

Then this afternoon I go pick up R from the boys & girls club. I have a note that I have to see the teacher and sign a paper. So this is what I get...

"I have talked to R numerous times on the bus about sitting still. Also about keeping our hands to ourselves & using inside voices & whispering when the teacher is on the phone. He was playing around on the bus this morning & leaned on a child & left the child with a red mark on his cheek. I had the bus pulled over & and R move to the front. If the behavior contines R will have to start sitting at the front with a teacher or by himself."

When I talked to the teacher she went into more detail and let me know that the "red mark" was actually scratches caused by my son. They were so bad they had to write up an accident report for the child. She also mentioned that he is just steps away from being kicked out of the boys & girls club.

MY CHILD IS GETTING KICKED OUT OF DAYCARE!!!! What parent wants to hear that? If he gets kicked out I will have to quit my job because there are no other options for him, when it comes to before & after school care.

I'ved tried it all. I've taken everything away. he no longer has ANY privileges. I've even (god forbid) spanked him. NOTHING IS WORKING!!! I'm starting to think his counselor is a quack. Taking him off those meds did NOT help and he's getting worse. But what does he say? We just have to wait and let these sleeping pills kick in. Okay so it's been abut a month with NO CHANGE. When are they supposed to kick in?

What am I supposed to do in the mean time? In all honesty, if I could afford it, R would be on the next plain to boarding school.

3 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

No advice, just I'm sorry he's being difficult and you're so stressed about it. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your mothering. Some kids are just extra special. That probably isn't very comforting but you'll figure out what to do. Hugs.

10:07 PM  

 Pause said...

What meds was he on. and what sleeping pills are they using. A lot of counselors are quacks if you are not happy get a second opinion.

9:08 AM  

 Jerry Novick said...

Brandi, I found your blog after you somehow came across mine. I don't know the particulars of your situation (R's age, official diagnosis, physical contributing factors, involvement of his father - to name a few), but my own general experience with psychopharmacology (as a patient) set off a lot of alarms when you said "sleeping pills." Sleeping pills are a paliative, not a behavioral modification solution such as anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication.

I agree with croaker - get a second opinion. And not just from a social worker. You should see a medical doctor (to see if there are contributing physical factors) and a child psychologist, who both can then guide you towards a psychiatrist if necessary for R.

As for being a bad mother - perish the thought. There are some children who are just very strong-willed, and others who have real chemical imbalances that lead to behavioral problems.

Don't give up on yourself - and don't give up on R.!

12:28 PM  

Post a Comment