Miss Priss

{Friday, April 20, 2007} I've been waiting to write this
Things aren't looking too good right now. However J and I are keeping our hopes up. K is a fighter and a VERY strong little girl. We believe she will pull through this. On that note....

For those who haven't heard yet, we got the biopsy results yesterday. The doctors have had the results for a couple of days but they were waiting to contact us until they had a few options available for us. So here's the deal. K has a tumor called ANAPLASTIC ASTROCYTOMA. This is a level 3, or high-grade, tumor. The oncologist believes that chemo and radiation therapy alone will not do anything to help this tumor. She believes that our only option is to go in and try to remove as much of the tumor as possible and THEN attack it with chemo/radiation. When I heard that news I just wanted to break down crying. It's not so much the diagnosis that got me. It's the thought of surgery. When we were first told that K has a tumor the surgeon said that to try to remove it would not be possible. The tumor is in her Thalamus (which controls many things, including wakefulness) and it's also touching her brain stem. He said that to try to remove the tumor K stood a 50-80% chance of being completely paralyzed in her left side. And that is assuming she woke up. Apparently she has just as high of a chance of not waking from the surgery. So I'm sure you can see my concern.

J and I get to spend this weekend talking about the risks and options and deciding on what to do. We have an appointment Tuesday to talk about our decision.

I'm having an EXTREMELY DIFFICULT spiritual struggle right now. I've got anger and hurt towards God. I keep wondering why God would allow such a precious and innocent child to become so ill. So many people keep telling me I need to really turn to God in this time of need. But I feel like my anger is getting in the way. I feel like if I show up at church on Sunday I'll be hypocritical. Part of me is saying go to church but the other part is saying why bother. I'm so torn. I honestly don't know what to do.


Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

Oh Brandi, I'm so sorry. I wish I had the right words to say. I'll be praying for you and K

8:36 PM  

Blogger Mommy Brain said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this diagnosis. I found your site while doing a search for more info on astrocytoma grade 3. You might want to visit www.especiallyheather.com which is written by a very strong mom of three who just received a similiar diagnosis.

8:49 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brandi, I saw your comment on Especially Heather and just stopped by to say I'll be praying for K.

I am a brain tumor survivor. I had a grade 2 astrocytoma tumor removed a little over a year ago.

Even though I wasn't miraculously healed I do know that God has been beside me through this entire ordeal. I have a peace that comes only from Christ Jesus and I know that he will work all things for good for those who believe.

11:33 AM  

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Location: Washington, United States

I'm 28. I'm married. I have 3 kids. I'm going crazy.

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