The main reason I've been offline is because we were out of town. It's been almost a week now that we got home. We were in Orlando, FL for K's Make A Wish trip. It was a wonderful experience and I totally plan on updating about that shortly. It's going to be a LONG post so I'll be breaking it up by days.

My main reason for posting tonight, aside from that I really needed to, is to update on my mom. As most of you know we moved her out here to be with us last November. She had lost her job and was losing her apartment when we decided to move her here. She had absolutely no income. She couldn't buy any sort of groceries so she was at the mercy of my brother and my grandpa to feed her. Half the time she didn't have gas money so she couldn't go to their houses anyway. She was also battling a really bad bout of depression. All of this added up and made me really worry about her. Being so far from her I felt helpless. So J, being the wonderful husband that he is offered to move her up here to live with us. It was only until she got on her feet. So she arrived here November 4th.

To date she still hasn't found a job. She did have a short work experience at the BX and at the base Burger King. But she hated both jobs so badly that she quit within a couple weeks of starting. She again has no money. Her car was repossessed in January. She is pretty much stuck in the house as long unless she goes somewhere with J or me. She has helped me quite a bit with the kids. Especially when K was first diagnosed with her brain tumor. She would take care of the boys while I took K for her early morning radiation treatments. She would also stay with K at the hospital so that J and I could get some rest and spend some time with the boys. But now that K is pretty stable, and I'm thinking about going back to work, my mom is miserable. She has such a pity party going on right now. She is depressed about not having a job but she's not doing much to better herself. She lives in our basement and refuses to come upstairs unless it's to eat. She swears my dog makes her sick but she was fine the entire time J was deployed. She's spending a lot of time worry about my grandmother since she had a stroke a few months ago. I've tried, many times, to plant the seed for her to go back to New Mexico. I know she hates it here. She doesn't like J and most of the time my kids annoy her. I hate seeing her depressed and honestly she is bringing down the rest of us. If we're having a good time, and she comes upstairs, you can feel it. The mood in the house changes. We feel bad for having fun when she is so miserable.

Yesterday afternoon I had a talk with J. We were talking about what we are going to do when mom's visitor pass expires in November. I don't want to put J into a hard place by having him renew her pass when he doesn't really want to. But at the same time I feel horrible kicking her out of the house when she has no where else to go. Then I think, maybe if we kick her out it'll force her to actually do something for herself instead of feeling sorry all the time.

This morning I emailed her. I am not a confrontational person and I was afraid she would take my words the wrong way. So I took the chicken way out. It worked. I acknowledged how unhappy she is here. And how I know she is really worried about my grandparents. So I told her, if she wants to, we will pay to send her back to New Mexico. I told her she could help out my grandparents and maybe that would give her life some meaning. Maybe then she could start to get over this depression she's stuck in. I told her to think about it and let me know. This evening, before dinner, she said yes. She wants to go back. So now we're in the process of finding the best way to get her there. I wouldn't mind flying her out, but then we have he furniture and boxes to ship out. I really don't want to pay a moving company a couple thousand dollars to ship less than one room full of stuff. It looks like my only real option will be to rent a truck and drive out there with her and then I'll fly back. I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Oh did I mention I'm going to start working soon? Yeah that means that this long trip need to be done over the weekend. I'm so excited! (Can you hear the sarcasm?) Honestly I'm happy she's going back. I need to be able to take care of my family and raise my children without her chiming in.

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