I've been thinking long and hard about this. It seems that most every year I just make some frivolous resolution and never even try to keep it. This year I'm going to actually make a couple of resolutions that mean something. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that I keep them.

1) I'm going to be more patient with my family. It seems like lately I have a short fuse and I go off for no reason. Just last night I yelled at J just because he touched me. That needs to stop NOW.

2) I'm going to be a better wife to J. It can't be all about me all of the time. This marriage is a 50/50 and I need to treat it as such. Right now I could care less about J's feelings and needs. That will change.

3) I'm not going to worry so much about finances. No matter how much or how little money we have, I always have to worry. I'm always stressing about if we're going to have enough. We always have enough, but for some stupid reason I still worry. No more. The less stress I have the easier it will be to accomplish resolutions 1 and 2.

Last night I decided that was me.

I've spent the last 2+ months on my own. I didn't think that was enough time to get really used to it. But apparently it is.

Last night, when I went to bed, I was talking to myself. Well actually just thinking to myself. I am ready for J to go back to Oklahoma for the rest of his training. He hasn't even been home a week and I'm done.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to death. But I miss being able to go to bed when I want. If I go to bed at 8 because I've had a hard day, I don't want to feel guilty about it. I want to have the bed all to myself again so I can actually stretch out and not worry about crowding someone else. I don't want someone groping me all night. I want to be able to just pack up the kids and head over to McDonald's because I don't feel like cooking that evening.

I know it takes time to readjust, but this small break just isn't enough time for that.

I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. I slept so good last night. I'm thinking it's because I exhausted myself with my new game. Imagine my surprise as I went to get out of bed and found that EVERY MUSCLE in my lower body was killing me. I couldn't move. Okay I could move but it was more like a hobble.

I didn't realize I was so out of shape. I know I haven't worked out in like a month but this is CRAZY. So now I'm sitting at my desk, at work, and I am REFUSING to move from my chair. I don't want anyone to know just how bad off I really am.

J bought me the Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2 for the PS2. This was my Christmas present. I've only been wanting this game for the past forever. So we broke it open today and I have spent the past 8+ hours playing on this thing. I swear, if this keeps up I'll have lost my last 10 pounds by New Years Eve.

J came home for a visit yesterday. He made it here in record time. He thinks his car has wings.

I didn't expect him home so soon, so I was busy cleaning the bathroom when he got here. I happened to sneeze and suddenly I hear this deep voice say "bless you". Talk about scaring the CRAP outta me. I screamed so loud, I thought someone had broke into the house. Turned out to he J.

It's so weird having him home. The kids won't leave him alone. Poor thing, I can't even go to the bathroom without them following him and hanging on him. It's going to be so hard when he leaves again.

So today is the last day of work before Christmas. I'm so excited, I NEED a nice LOOOONG break.

Anyway, you know how this is my first job in 3.5 years? Well I guess I don't know how to handle it. Everyone in the office came in today bearing gifts. Even AFTER we had our secret santa exchange two weeks ago. Well everyone, except me. I didn't even think to bring any gifts. I figured the secret santa thing was IT. So I get into work this morning and suddenly I have like 15 little, and very thoughtful, gifts sitting on my desk.

Talk about feeling like a scrooge. I'm the ONLY one in our office who didn't bring anything. What's worse is I feel wrong keeping the gifts since I didn't contribute. But is it rude to give the gifts back?

Holy cow!!!! Long time to update huh. Well I'll just give a quick run down.

R is doing MUCH better. The doctor has him on Concerta in the morning and Trileptal twice a day. I can't believe the difference in that boy. He's not getting into trouble at school anymore. He's helping around the hosue WITHOUT me asking him. Heck, last week I was really sick and he gave A his bedtime bath!!! Talk about a shocker. He's slowly earning his things back too. Last week he earned his bike back so now he's practicing for his first national competition. That will be in Febuary. I can't wait.

Ks bald spot is finally starting to fill in. It's only 3 hairs right now, but it's a sign that things are starting to regenerate. YAY my baby girl won't be bald for the rest of her life.

A has been sick off and on. But what do you expect when he suddenly starts going to daycare. He's finally being exposed to all those nasty germs I tried so hard to keep away from him. Right now he's batteling a double ear infection. But I'm counting my blessings on that one. A couple of weeks ago he was batteling pneumonia.

As for me, I'm getting ready for the holidays. I finished my shopping on Sunday, so now I'm just getting the house ready for guests. Oh yeah and J is COMING HOME!!! Oh I'm so excited about that. He's only here for a visit, but it's better than nothing. He'll be arriving sometime Friday evening and he'll be here for a week. Then it's back to finish his training until mid-Febuary.

So that's life right now, I'll start posting more frequently again real soon. Oh yeah, and I promise things will be more interesting too.