OMG I'm sitting here getting more freaked by the minute.

This morning I booked our hotel rooms for us to stay in when we move. That alone tells me that things are getting close. Then I was talking to my mom and realized I have a whopping THREE WEEKENDS to get things done before the movers come. That's not much time at all. I still have so much to do. I was really looking forward to using my week off (the week between when I stop working and when the movers arrive) to get things together. Now I'll have to do what I can on the weekends only since I don't know how to say no.

Talk about really feeling a crunch now. I think I'll either have to have J take R to the races from now on or just skip out on them all together. But if I do that then I'll feel really bad for making R pay for my stupidity of never saying no.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get out of the extra week of work?

Oh yeah did I mention that my childcare stops the week I'm supposed to stop working, and I can't resind on the notice at the daycare center?

My last day at work is next Thursday. The company still hasn't had any luck in finding a replacement for me. Guess I'm just that good ;)

Anyway, the big boss came to me today asking when exactly my last day is. So I happily told him that it's next week. Then he said how much they're gonna miss me and how they're having such a hard time finding anyone that can do all I do for them. Talk about a warm fuzzy. THEN he proceeds to ask when exactly I'm hitting the road to move. So I tell him that's kind of up in the air, dependant on when we can get the house inspected and approved. So then he comes out and says it. "Do you think you could stay on here just a bit longer? We're having such a hard time finding someone it and if you stay a little longer it would be so much easier on us."

What was I to say? I told him I really wanted the following week off to get my house in order and ready for the movers. But if they really needed me that bad I would stay on another week.

On the plus side, if I do stay on that much longer my finaly paycheck will be a full one. On the downside, I already gave my notice at the child care center so I will need to find a quick back up for a week AND I won't be able to work on my house like I wanted to.

UGH I hate it when I don't know how to say no.

Why do certain people feel like it's okay to treat you like crap just because you're moving?

There is a certain person who is upset about our move out of state. So she is starting to treat us like crap and keep pointing out how depressed she is about us leaving.

I'm getting so tried of it and I still have another month before we leave. And it's not like I can't just avoid her from now on, that is totally not an option.

R is going to a BMX clinic today that is being put on by Thomas Fernandez. He's a AA Pro in the ABA. He's really excited about it and he's hoping that it'll help him improve his riding.

I was really excited about him going because that would mean that I get to stay home for 3 hours with NO FIGHTING KIDS. I figured I would try to get some housework done in preparation for the big move. Initially I figured that I would tackle Rs room and wash the walls. They are filthy right now from all the times he's kicked them when getting angry.

Well my plans to prep for the move went downhill when I received an email from my sister in law. Apparently they, at the last minute, decided to have a birthday party for their daughter and now we're invited. The catch.... It's this afternoon at Peter Piper Pizza. Yeah like I really want to spend half of my day around a bunch of kids that are on a sugar high and running wild. I don't even give my kids sugar on a regular basis because of the outcome.

So now my day will consist of dropping R off at his clinic, then me rushing home to wash dishes and throw a load of laundry to wash, then rushing off to the mall and finding my neice a birthday present and somewhere in between all of that I have to pick up my dog from the groomer.

Oh yeah and then I have to somehow figure out how to get R to the groundbreaking ceremony for the new BMX track in town which is at 4:00 this afternoon.

Oh joy! I'm already ready for bed.

I just can't decide what to do. I'm seriously debating on having R repeat the 3rd grade next school year. I'm thinking he's missed so much work this year that he's gonna have a real hard time catching up in the new state. It's not that he's missed a lot of days, he's just not doing the work. He doesn't bring his homework home and when he does he rushes through everything so quickly. His teacher is always complaining that he doesn't listen in class, yet when they say start he knows exactly what to do. He's constantly getting into trouble for his behavior.

He's pretty much given up on school and doesn't really work to his full potential. Hell this week he took a spelling test and only got 6 right out of 19. What really upsets me about that is I KNOW he can spell every work on that test. He's just too lazy to do it.

All of his teachers tell me how intelligent he is but he's not putting forth any effort. I'm not sure if his age has anything to do with it since it's never been an issue before. He is one of the youngest kids in his class. His birthday is just days before the start of school. If I did keep him back in 3rd the age wouldn't create an issue.

If you were in this situation what would you do? Any advice/ideas?

J bought me a new movie and it arrived in the mail today. It had a HUGE sticker on the front that says "For Viewers 18 and Over ONLY".

I'm so excited, it's my very first hentai!!! I've been dying to get this movie for what feels like forever. Now I have one. Time to sit back, relax and watch me some adult anime. Who knows maybe I'll start a new movie collection.

Gaining weight. I haven't gained any weight since I started my diet last year. Now all of a sudden I've stopped eating healthy and exercising. Suddenly my clothes are getting tighter and I am out of breath after climbing the stairs to my office.

I think it's time to get back on track.

So I've been talking with my ex-boyfriend via email. He's the one that I needed closure with. Anyway, he sent me this email stating that he didn't realize K was my "girlfriend" way back then. I admit I did go through an experimental stage, however K was NOT my girlfriend. She was a female friend of mine but that is it.

How embarassing that these people I used to hang out all the time thought I had a girlfriend. Now before anyone gets all pissy at me, I'm not saying it's wrong for girls to have girlfriends. I'm all for it, like I said I did experiment with it but it just wasn't for me.

What funny things come out when you're getting it all out in the open finally.

Finding a replacement is proving to be a bit harder than I thought. Our office ran the job listing in the paper last week and we've haven't had very many inquiries. I think on reason is because the paper has it listed funny. It took me FOREVER to find it on Monday.

So today and tomorrow are our scheduled interviews. The one interview we could get for today ended up canceling. For tomorrow we only have three interviews and that's it. Those are our choices so far.

We're planning on running the job listing again, only a bit differently this weekend. Maybe we'll get a better response the second time around.

I have exactly three weeks until my last day here. I remember to took a good two weeks before I was hired and another full week for me to be trained. I don't want to leave the place with no one to fill my position. I know it's not totally in my hands, but I still feel bad.

Wish us luck that we find someone good and soon.

I never thought I'd hear me saying these words anymore.

Let me start by saying I don't dye my hair. I used to when I was younger, but I got tired of the upkeep. Plus I didn't like how it dried out my hair.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I went to my bedroom to change clothes. Once I got comfortable I pulled my hair out of the bun I had it in all day. It felt so good to let it loose. After I pulled it down I noticed the most horrifying thing. I had to call J in to verify what I was seeing.

I have my FIRST GREY HAIR!!!! This can't be, I'm too young. I'm only 26 I'm not ready for this.

Needless to say I'm heading out to get my hair colored this evening.

It's such a good feeling to finally get things off your chest. I've been dealing with this horrible guilt for so long, and to now be able to talk about it and work through it.

No I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that'll I'll still keep thinking about him and wondering certain things.

When I was younger I partied so much that I pretty much made myself sick of drinking. So imagine my surprise when after a hard day of working all I could think about was sitting down and relaxing with a nice glass of wine.

J got home around 7 last night and helped me put the kids to bed. Then we cracked open the wine and just sat together, unwinding. It was so nice and it was just what I needed. By the time I was on my second glass I was really starting to feel a buzz. At first I couldn't believe it. I used to be able to drink like it was water. Now I can't even handle two glasses of wine.

I turned to J and told him I feel like doing something stupid. So we retreated to the bedroom. Now I'm not one to go into details, this is afterall a family friendly blog. Let's just say we were up until I passed out, somewhere around 2 am.

This morning I was actually able to sleep in till 10. I couldn't believe it. I haven't slept that late in years. Although I have to admit I am quite sore, all over, from last night. And pretty hung over too. I have a feeling it'll be a LONG time before I ever drink again.

I feel like I spent the entire night working out, and not in a good way. Actually what happened was I spent most of the night away from an allergy attack. And when I wasn't awake because of me, A was keeping me awake because he is sick.

This should make for an interesting day. Good thing I'm home tending to the sick child. Maybe we'll spend the day sleeping.

I am so much more relaxed this afternoon. I wasn't able to give my notice yesterday as planned, but that's okay everythig worked out fine.

J called me this morning to let me know he set up the date when the movers would be coming to our house. That gave me a better time frame to look at. So I am allowing myself a week off before moving time. After I figured that out I walked into the boss and asked if I could talk to her for a minute. I let her know that we were moving, due to Js work, and I'm really sorry and sad that I have to go. She teared up a bit but was okay with it. I'm giving roughly a months notice so that should give plenty of time to find my replacement and let me train her/him.

What a relief getting all that off my chest. Now I can focus on getting my house in order and not stress about the job.

today is the day that I give my notice. I'm sitting here freaking out right now. I've never given notice before, usually I just walk out because I'm so miserable. Which totally isn't the case here.

Any tips/advice on how to go about it? Is there ever a perfect time to get it done? I have another two hours before the end of the day and I need to do it by then.

Sorry I've been missing for a bit. I've been spending quite a bit of time at the hospital. My grandmother was admitted last week for what the doctors thought was a stroke. Turned out to be that she was lacking vitamin B12 BAD. Which was causing her neuro pathways to slow down. She's doing much better and is expected to be released later today.

Also, J CAME HOME SATURDAY!!! He is finally completed with his re-training and is officially a Boom Operator. I'm so proud of him, that was a LONG 8 months. Now we're de-cluttering the house and getting ready to move. I can't wait to see GRASS again. LOL

We've been spending all weekend together getting reacquainted and it's been GREAT. I didn't realize just how much I missed him. But now he's home for good. Well that is until he gets deployed, but it should be no longer than 3 months gone. If I can do 8 months away I can easily handle 3 months.

So that's our life for now, things are gonna start getting pretty hectic and crazy here in the next couple of weeks.